The meet-cute is a trope in romantic comedies that has been around for decades.
It’s a scene in which the two main characters meet for the first time in a way that is meant to be charming, witty, and often comical.
Despite its popularity, the meet-cute is often criticised for being contrived and unrealistic.
However, it’s my contention that the meet-cute is not just a narrative device, but rather a powerful tool for exploring deeper philosophical questions about the human experience.
I would argue that the meet-cute can provide insight into the role of agency in our lives, the tension between fate and free will, and the nature of human desire.
Through a critical analysis of examples from popular culture, I want to explore how the meet-cute is far from simplistic, and rather a reflection on the complexities of human relationships and the search for meaning in life.
One of the most significant philosophical questions raised by the meet-cute is the role of agency in our lives.
The meet-cute is often seen as a fortuitous encounter that brings two people together by chance.
This chance encounter is often followed by a series of deliberate actions by the characters that lead them towards a romantic relationship.
The question then arises: to what extent do we have agency over our lives, and to what extent are we simply subject to the whims of fate?
To explore this, let’s consider the meet-cute in the film When Harry Met Sally.
The two main characters, Harry and Sally, meet for the first time on a long car journey from Chicago to New York.
Initially, they are dismissive of each other, but as the journey progresses, they begin to open up and share their personal experiences.
By the end of the journey, they have formed a deep connection that sets the stage for their eventual romantic relationship.
While it’s true that Harry and Sally’s initial meeting was fortuitous, the subsequent development of their relationship was not.
Both characters had agency over their lives and the decisions they made.
Harry could have chosen not to call Sally after their initial encounter, and Sally could have chosen not to accept his invitation to dinner.
Their choices and actions were not predetermined by fate but were the result of their own agency.
Thus, the meet-cute in When Harry Met Sally highlights the interplay between chance and agency.
The tension between fate and free will.
While the characters may exercise agency over their lives, the circumstances of their meeting are often portrayed as being predetermined by fate.
This tension is particularly evident in the film Serendipity, where the two main characters, Jonathan and Sara, meet by chance in a department store.
They’re both shopping for the same pair of gloves, and after a brief conversation, they feel a connection.
However, they’re both in relationships at the time, and instead of exchanging phone numbers, they agree to let fate determine whether they are meant to be together.
Even so, a mutual attraction leads them to have dessert together, where Sara explains that she lets fate’s “little signals” determine many of her life decisions.
After separating, they meet again when each returns to the restaurant to retrieve something they forgot.
Jonathan convinces Sara to give him her number, but when the wind blows it out of his grasp, Sara thinks it’s fate telling them to back off.
Jonathan disagrees, and Sara decides to let fate reunite them: she has Jonathan write his number on a five dollar bill then uses it to buy breath mints and promises to sell her copy of Love in the Time of Cholera in which she will write her name and number.
As one last experiment, Sara tosses Jonathan one of the gloves, they board separate elevators and agree that if they arrive on the same floor, they’re meant to be together.
They each pick the same floor, but Jonathan is delayed because a child on his elevator presses random buttons, leading her to believe that the experiment failed.
Years later, they both decide to find the other, and this leads to a long series of incredibly cheesy, very artificial near-misses until they finally find each other.
Though it’s taken to an extreme in Serendipity, example, the tension between fate and free will in is palpable (no matter how manufactured).
As a comparison, in the movie Before Sunrise, two young strangers, Jesse and Céline meet on a train travelling through Europe.
They strike up a conversation and decide to spend the night exploring Vienna together before Jesse’s flight back to the United States the following morning.
The film portrays their meeting as a chance encounter, but it is not presented as predetermined by fate. Rather, it is the result of their own agency and decision-making.
Throughout the film, they discuss their beliefs about love, relationships, and the meaning of life, while exploring the city and getting to know each other better.
The film does not rely on a contrived or overly romanticised depiction of serendipity to bring the two characters together. Instead, it portrays their meeting as the result of their own agency and the choices they make.
This depiction of serendipity feels more authentic and less manufactured than some other romantic comedies (*cough* Serendipity *cough*).
This tension between fate and free will is central to the meet-cute trope and highlights the complex interplay between our individual agency and the forces beyond our control.
On the one hand, the characters are making a conscious decision to leave their relationship status up to chance.
And on the other hand, the very fact that they meet by chance suggests that there is a predetermined aspect to their meeting.
The nature of human desire.
At its core, the meet-cute is a story about two people searching for connection and love.
It’s a reflection of our deepest human desires for intimacy, companionship and belonging – as well as partly supporting the patriarchal notion that life isn’t complete without romantic love, but that’s another discussion.
However, the meet-cute also suggests that our desires are not always rational or predictable.
Often, the characters are drawn to each other for reasons that they cannot explain, and their attraction may defy societal norms or expectations.
For example, in Pretty Woman the main characters, Vivian and Edward, meet when Edward hires Vivian, a prostitute, to accompany him to a series of social events.
Despite their vastly different backgrounds and social statuses, they are drawn to each other and ultimately fall in love.
This unconventional pairing challenges societal norms about who we are supposed to fall in love with and what kind of relationships are considered acceptable.
Is Pretty Woman ultimately a wish fulfilment story? Yes, but that doesn’t nullify the class divide between the characters.
The meet-cute, then, is not just a story about finding love but also a reflection on the nature of desire and its ability to transcend societal norms and expectations.
It reminds us that our desires are not always rational or predictable, and that they may lead us down unexpected paths.
So, the meet-cute, far from being a simplistic narrative device, offers a profound reflection on the complexities of human relationships and the human search for meaning and purpose in life.
While the meet-cute may be dismissed as a mere romantic trope, its power lies in its ability to capture the nuances and complexities of human experience and to offer us a glimpse into the serendipity of love and connection—no matter how cheesy a vehicle the chosen narrative is.
Want to get more out of reading books?
Grab this FREE guide on how to start a reading journal, complete with review templates, reading trackers and bingo sheets.
Understand yourself better as a reader, engage more with the books you read & make space for creative self-expression. Get it now!
“When Sasha Barrett gets bitten by a snake on a mission, her squad captain’s quick actions not only save her life, but also make her realise something she may have known all along…“
