And it’s often a complex one.
On one hand, fear can be a powerful motivator that pushes us to explore new ideas, take risks, and push the boundaries of our creativity. It can ignite a sense of urgency and intensity, leading to breakthroughs and innovative solutions.
It allows us to tap into deeper emotions and connect with our audience on a more profound level. By exploring our own fears and vulnerabilities, we can create work that resonates with others who may share similar experiences or feelings.
But fear can also be a hindrance to the creative process and serve as a source of separation. When it’s rooted in past trauma and becomes overwhelming, then it makes us play small and stops us from putting ourselves out there, leaving us holding nothing but self-sabotage.
That kind of fear can paralyse us, causing us to doubt our abilities, fear rejection and failure, and ultimately stifle our own creativity. Fear of judgment or criticism can lead to self-censorship and the avoidance of taking creative risks.
If we let it.
Many successful creatives have learned to embrace fear and use it as a catalyst for growth.
They recognize that fear is a natural part of the creative journey and that pushing through it can lead to personal and artistic development. By acknowledging our fears and finding ways to work through them, we can harness the energy that fear brings and channel it into their creative endeavours.
My own fear is rooted in childhood post-traumatic stress (CPTSD) from when I was bullied in school, which was in turn being raised by emotionally unavailable parents – a mum that worked three jobs had little time for the child she was providing for, and my dad’s a deadbeat that checked out of my life when I was five.
Art and creativity is what carried me through my childhood, when things were good and when they were bad. Especially when they were bad.
Healing from trauma is a complex and deeply personal process. You’ll face many inner obstacles that hinder your progress towards recovery. One of the most frustrating things about healing is finding out that you’re standing in your own way a lot of the time.
I could just tell you to not have fear, but that’s not productive. You don’t just drop fear.
Instead, I want to delve into understanding the origins and impact of fear, discovering its pervasive effects on your life, and learning practical steps to break free from its grip.
The all-encompassing grip of fear.
For individuals with CPTSD, fear can become a constant companion, as it was for me for many years. The symptoms of CPTSD, including anxiety, panic, and hyper-vigilance, make it challenging to navigate social interactions and experience genuine connections with others.
While the common advice is often to avoid fear, those living with CPTSD understand that letting go of fear is not an easy task because it’s shaped how you live your life for so long. This struggle can lead to self-doubt, shame and a feeling of inadequacy.
While doing perfectly normal tasks, my mind would come up with the most horrifying ways death or injury could happen. Like driving my kid to daycare on a morning like any other, I’d regularly be visited by the flash of me driving the car into the oncoming lane and nose-first into the oncoming bus.
My catastrophising got so bad, so pervasive, that I became depressed.
It’s crucial to realise that there is nothing inherently wrong with you when facing CPTSD – it’s a normal reaction to childhood trauma. Just recognising it for what it is can be difficult.
The self-help industry often promotes the idea of overcoming fear.
While this advice may work for some people, it often proves ineffective for those with deep-rooted trauma. You start walking around life like you’ve got it all handled, but attempting to act normal and exude confidence becomes a daily struggle.
Concealing our fears and anxieties can inadvertently prevent us from receiving the help and understanding we truly need. Because, sadly, when the symptoms of fear intensify, it becomes increasingly difficult for people to offer support: they often don’t even know you’re struggling!
When you put up that wall and play it like you’re tough – often too tough – people can’t see that you’re actually struggling. They think you’re doing just fine and can’t even imagine to ask because you seem so fine.
Escaping the prison of fear.
The type of fear that perpetuates the trauma cycle is not the productive fear that protects you from immediate danger, or propels you to new heights of creativity.
Instead, it’s the fear that keeps you trapped within your mind, preoccupied with irrational concerns about the future, worrying about people’s opinions, and feeling inadequate.
This fear is essentially a fantasy, disconnecting you from reality and hindering your ability to live a fulfilling life.
To truly love and be loved, solve problems, and serve the world, you must confront and overcome this fear. Living in fear leads to a sense of life passing you by, stifling your potential for growth and happiness.
There is hope.
A transformative experience awaits you, where you can shed the shackles of fear and uncover your authentic self. You just need to confront and release this fear in order to move forward.
Reclaim your identity.
The first step towards freedom is understanding that the fear you experience does not define you.
The traumatic events you’ve endured are heartbreaking and real, but they are not your identity.
Your true self, with innate talent and purpose, existed long before the trauma and will continue to thrive long after you break free from fear.
It’s important to acknowledge the distinction between what happened to you and who you truly are.
Breaking free from fear is not a one-time event but a gradual process.
While progress may not always be linear, each effort contributes to your journey towards liberation and you can gradually release the grip of fear on your life.
Sometimes, the transformation is immediate, while other times it requires repeated practice. Nonetheless, the result is an expanded sense of freedom, strength, and authenticity.
As fear diminishes, doors open to a life filled with joy and connection.
The love within you is no longer weighed down by sadness or the desperate need for care that went unfulfilled in our past.
You discover a sense of self-contentment and increased self-control.
Continuing this path allows our unique talents and gifts to emerge, leading to a life characterised by purpose, authenticity, and resilience.
With reduced fear, you gain the freedom to make mistakes, knowing that you possess the capacity to reclaim your freedom and continue growing.
Okay, but how do you start to release the fear?
If you’ve been around for a while, you know I prescribe journaling for most things. But if you’re not feeling like that’s doing the trick, let’s focus on the fear alone. For that I love this one exercise from the Crappy Childhood Fairy.
Sit down with a pen and paper (recommended, but any writing implements will work) and start writing, “I have fear…” and fill in the blank. And then hang out with that fear for a moment, and pinpoint where that fear is coming from (usually another fear). Then you just keep going, every single time writing, “I have fear…”
Don’t try to journal or explain the fear, just list your fears. For example:
I have fear that I’m not going to get a raise this year at work because I have fear that I’m going to be overlooked. I have fear that my effort at work isn’t being seen because I have fear… (and so on and so on).
As you write these down, you’ll already know that some of them aren’t true as you’re writing.
Here, I’ll give you an example from when I did this a few days ago:
“I have fear that I will not produce anything of value for anyone else because I have fear that I will be seen as stupid or dumb by other people. I have fear that my work will not be of value because I have fear that my effort will not be of value because I have fear that I’m not of value. I have fear that my Patreon won’t work out and it will be embarrassing to have a really small Patreon with no one in it. I have fear that I will be humiliated because I have a small Patreon.”
As I was writing the words on paper, I already knew they weren’t true before I even got to the end of the sentence, because I know that my purpose here isn’t to gain a huge following or become a celebrity.
The point of setting up this whole place was so that I could have a place to channel my thoughts and talk about creative work. Even if no one ever shows up here, I’ve already achieved what I set out to do because I’m going to do this work regardless of what other people do.
If anyone else then finds any use in this, that’s just a bonus.
And I’ve never judged any creator based on the size of their audience, their follower count, or their subscriber count, so why should I subject my own worth to those arbitrary numbers?
But the point of the whole exercise (which I kept going for three pages), was to get all those irrational and baseless fears out of my head. Because all they do is clutter the place up and prevent me from making the most of my best tool.
You can also use the starter, “I have resentment…” if you have a particular thing or person you want to clear out the clutter from. Once you start with the resentment, go back to “because I have fear that…” and keep going.
Just remember to keep going back to, “I have fear…” – and it’s important to say “I have fear” not “I am afraid” because we want to distinguish between ourselves and the fear we experience.
You’ll soon see how the immediate fear you had on the surface quickly cascades into many more, like a sinister nesting doll. Even the most mundane fears often hide something more profound underneath – writing them down is just how you dig down to through the fears so you can let them go.
Think of your fears like wet leaves on your windshield. They fly in and stick on your windshield and then you use the wipers to clear them off, or you pick them off by hand. But you don’t stop and study them, or look at them more closely, because that’s not the goal.
The goal is to get back on the road and keep moving. So you clear off the wet leaves so you can see, and keep going. This is that, just clearing your vision so you can move forward.
Remember to sign off and release.
Once you’ve gotten everything down and either have to stop or feel like you’ve run out, sign off with something positive.
I usually just sign off with something along the lines of, “I release these fears that no longer serve me and move forward with gratitude” but you can write whatever you’re feeling in that moment.
This way, you can make space for your dark, negative thoughts and set them down, so that moving forward becomes lighter, easier.
This doesn’t negate the negative things that happen in life that you have to deal with, this is simply making the load you carry lighter and lessening the fear you have within you so that it no longer paralyses you.
All the love, all the power ❤️🔥
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“When Sasha Barrett gets bitten by a snake on a mission, her squad captain’s quick actions not only save her life, but also make her realise something she may have known all along…“
