William Shakespeare came from modest beginnings but finished life living in the largest house in Stratford-upon-Avon, with a coat of arms and a series of shrewd business investments to his name.
Academics believe that much of Shakespeare’s business savvy and company ventures have been obscured by our romantic view of him as a creative genius who made his money through acting and writing plays.
Shakespeare’s works have powerful themes that run through each piece.
Themes that are still relevant today – love, death, ambition, power, fate, free will, just to name a few.
So Shakespeare’s works are timeless and universal, which makes them incredibly relatable.
Some uncomfortable truths about Shakespeare.
Shakespeare saw his own father fall on hard times and, as a result, some of his siblings didn’t receive the same education that he did.
He would have understood how wealth and all its trappings can quickly be taken away.
I think he would also have been keenly aware of how lucky he was to have received the education he did. Without it he wouldn’t have become the savvy businessman, famous actor and writer he became — which also allowed him to provide for his family.
The idea that the man who gave the world such wonderful narratives, language, and all-around entertainment, was motivated by self-interest is an uncomfortable thought to many people
But besides being an actor and playwright, Shakespeare was also a grain merchant and property owner, who for over 15 years he bought and stored grain, malt, and barley, and then sold it on to his neighbours at inflated prices.
In the late 16th and early 17th centuries, a blight of bad weather gripped England. The cold and rain resulted in poor harvests and consequently famine.
It was so bad they referred to this period as the ‘Little Ice Age’.
Shakespeare was under investigation for tax evasion and in 1598, they prosecuted him for hoarding grain at a time when food was scarce.
This is an uncomfortable truth for Shakespeare lovers, but in the context of his life, times were hard and he was providing for his family who would have had no welfare state to fall back on in times of need.
It is documented that Shakespeare pursued those who could not pay him for the food he provided, and used the money to further his own money-lending activities.
In an age when we’re navigating how to separate the art from the artist (and often finding that it’s all but impossible), Shakespeare’s contributions to modern language make it useless to even try.
So, now that we’ve been introduced to our guest lecturer, onwards and upwards!
The thing I wanted to get into today was how Shakespeare was a master of his craft — smut peddling.
Shakespeare wrote for the every-man, and his writing is full of sexual innuendo and rudeness. His original audiences clearly understood the slang and sexual language, which are less obvious to modern audiences.
In Shakespearean English, a euphemism for a penis was “wit”.
So, “the length of a man’s wit” is actually a clever euphemism for talking about how big his dick was.
This brings a whole new meaning to the Harry Potter Ravenclaw tag line of “wit beyond measure is a man’s greatest treasure.” 👀
To “die” could also mean to orgasm. Both are a climactic conclusion, one to life and the other to sex.
In Much Ado About Nothing, several characters describe Beatrice as being willing to die before she reveals her love for Benedick.
They emphasise her stubbornness:
Hero thinks surely [Beatrice] will die; for she says she will die, if he love her not, and she will die, ere she make her love known, and she will die, if he woo her, rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed crossness.
This humorous passage emphasises the foolishness of love, but the repeated use of “die” in relation to romance also suggests a cheeky double entendre.
The thing I wanted to highlight today was how many cheeky double entendres Shakespeare was able to cram into a very short space. This kind of mastery is something the rest of us lowly smut peddlers can only aspire to.
Henry IV, Part II, Act 2, Scene 1
MISTRESS QUICKLY: Alas the day. Take heed of him: he stabbed me in mine own house, and that most beastly. He cares not what mischief he doth, if his weapon be out. He will foin like any devil. He will spare neither man, woman, nor child. FANG: If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust. MISTRESS QUICKLY: No, nor I neither. I'll be at your elbow. FANG: If I but fist him once, if he come but within my vice — MISTRESS QUICKLY: I am undone with his going. I warrant he is an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang, hold him sure: good Master Snare, let him not 'scape. He comes continuantly to Pie-corner — saving your manhoods — to buy a saddle, and he is indited to dinner to the Lubber's-head in Lombard Street, to Master Smooth's the silkman. I pra'ye, since my exion is entered and my case so openly known to the world, let him be brought in to his answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a poor lone woman to bear, and I have borne, and borne, and borne, and have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. There is no honesty in such dealing, unless a woman should be made an ass and a beast, to bear every knave's wrong.
If, like most modern readers, you’re a bit lost in translation, here’s the glossary to make it all clear:
- stabbed hurt financially / penetrated sexually
- house inn / vagina
- weapon sword / penis
- foin thrust
- close with fight / embrace sexually
- fist punch / masturbate
- come advance / orgasm
- vice grip
- undone ruined financially / sexually, in terms of reputation
- goingdeparture / sexual activity
- infinitive i.e. infinite, huge
- thing item / penis
- scoretavern bill, accounts / vagina
- Pie-corner area in London famous for cooks’ shops, saddlers and prostitution (‘pie’ and ‘corner’ were both slang terms for the vagina)
- manhoods honours / penises
- saddle horse’s saddle / whore
- indited i.e. invited
- exion action / vagina
- case lawsuit / vagina
- hundred mark £66 / large penis
- borne been patient / borne the weight of a man during sex
- fubbed off fobbed off / fucked
- dealing behaviour / sexual activity
- wrong wrongdoing / shaming penis / illegitimate child
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