When you’re just starting out as a writer, it’s all too easy to get lost in comparison.
Some days it feels like everyone else is better than you.
Other days you actually muster together the faith that this thing you’re writing will someday be Something.
Managing your own expectations is a big part of going from hobby scribbler to professional writer.
I realise that I sound callous and cut-throat to many people, but I cut my teeth in commercial writing, where data and conversion goals dictate everything.
Commercial writing is like the Fight Club of writing.
If you can survive that, you can survive just about anything.
Taking feedback – and humbly receiving the business end of a hissy fit from your egotistical superior – are just all in a day’s work.
And believe me, egos are BIG in marketing.
Getting punched down is simply another reason to rise stronger.
It’s not for everyone. But it’s a high-pressure environment that produces some singularly brilliant diamonds.
Because those who are flexible and willing to learn quickly get better with every punch.
Those who are cowed give up and find other work. As butterfly whisperers or wizards of light bulb moments, or something, idk.
The big question is whether you have an inner or an outer scorecard.
Ask yourself: Would you rather be the world’s greatest lover, but have everyone think you’re the world’s worst lover?
OR
Would you prefer to actually be the worst lover in the world but have everyone believe you’re the greatest?
Having an inner scorecard makes life, work and love a lot easier.
Why? Because comparing yourself to others allows them to drive your behaviour.
When you do comparison wrong, it’s a futile and self-destructive exercise.
When you look at the superstars in your industry or genre, there’s always someone more successful, more famous, better connected and wealthier than you.
Doing that is just giving yourself an excuse to feel inferior, jealous and insufficient.
Because we tend to compare our average features against the best of someone else’s.
And it’s a complete waste of time and effort.
It’s like trying to play an instrument left-handed when you’re right-handed. Trying to tread water in concrete boots. Or cooking a chicken breast over a candle flame.
So, how do you compare yourself the right way?
First, understand that at the core of your framework for evaluation is you.
Your skills. Your knowledge. Your experience.
And those are all things you have direct control over – meaning you can make them better. So, do it.
You should always strive to be better than you were yesterday.
Secondly, pick the right level of comparison.
When you’re just starting out as a writer, don’t compare yourself to the New York Times bestsellers who’ve been cranking out books for a long time.
Who’ve put in the years (yes, years) it took them to build their reputation, their fanbase and their craft.
Instead, you need to find those that are on the same level as you and use them as a reference point.
Comparing yourself to someone who’s way ahead of you will just make you feel dejected.
And comparing yourself to someone who’s just at the start of their journey, when you’ve already been chugging along for a while, will give you a false sense of achievement.
You have to find that level that gives you the right data.
And then understand that you’re constantly evolving as a writer, ergo your comparisons need to constantly evolve.
But the one thing you’re stuck with, no matter how much you grow, is you.
So, you do you. Do the thing that makes your soul shine.
And I really mean that literally. Because doing any less means you’re straying from your true path.
The most interesting thing about you is you.
The most interesting thing about your stories is how you tell them. No one else can tell those stories the way you can.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a 100% original fantasy world you’ve been working on since you were five years old.
Or if it’s yet another Hades and Persephone retelling.
Your voice is what makes you unique.
Forget about the rest and follow that wherever it leads you because it’ll never lead you astray.
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